By Pat C.
An ideal of teenage life is to look “cool” to your peers. Whether it’s wearing no belt so your pants can sag, wearing your hat backwards, or smoking cigarettes, teenagers take every chance they get to be seen as “with it.”
Although teenagers often influence each other in negative ways, they can also positively influence each other.
I do not separate myself from the category of most teenagers. At home I was the kid who was influencing others in a poor way. Whether it was doing drugs, robbing people, or disobeying my parents, I was a negative influence on the people around me. I believed that I was “invincible” and could surround myself with negative influences because nothing serious would ever happen to me.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in a jail cell, withdrawing from heroin, with a $200,000 bond over my head due to pending armed robbery charges. After one week in jail, I did not know what to do except listen to my father who told me that I had to totally surrender, and that’s what I did.
One day later I was on my way to a wilderness program in North Carolina. Two months later I arrived at The Family Foundation School; I realized I needed to surround myself with positive influences, and there was probably no better place to achieve this goal than FFS.
Peer pressure is very influential in a teenager’s life. About.com says, “Peer pressure helps define who we are and how we feel about subjects in our lives. It is how we choose to react to peer pressure that defines who we are as an individual.”
At FFS, students hold each other accountable, and are there to support each other no matter what might be going on. When students first arrive at FFS they receive a buddy and a junior sponsor. Buddies are people who are entrusted to show new students around the school and help them feel comfortable.
In many 12-Step groups, it is recommended that you get a sponsor to work the steps with; at FFS, junior sponsors can serve the same purpose. Junior sponsor Steve W. of Family Two said, “Junior sponsoring isn’t about the title, it is about helping people out. I enjoy helping people out because I don’t want them to go down the same negative path I did.”
Positive peer pressure has helped me change from a seventeen-year-old drug- using criminal to a loving young man.
Spirituality has also played a major role in my life since my arrival at The Family School. The 12-Step program is a spiritual program, and many students have made the decision to turn their will and their lives over to the care of God as they understand him.
Family Four student Nick A., said, “I thought I was a tough young drug dealer who had everything under control, but today I know I’m merely a Christian man trying to help out others; spirituality and positive peer pressure played a huge part in the changes I’ve made in my life.” On page 44 in the AA “Big Book,” it says, “that we must find a spiritual basis of life or else.” This is not only true for alcoholics but for any human being trying to live a useful and fulfilling life.
At FFS there are many ways students positively influence each other: boy and girl platonic relationships, sharing at table topics, making the bed in the morning, doing one’s own laundry, and taking responsibility for school work, etc.
Boy and girls at FFS try to have relationships that are based on developing a friendship instead of flirting and pursuing selfish desires. Brittany L. of Family Three said, “I’ve learned how to respect guys as human beings and to not just use them. I am also a really co-dependent person and I have realized I don’t need a negative relationship with a guy to be happy anymore.”
Table topics are designed for students who might be struggling with their issues at FFS or letting go of their past image and past life. Students share at table topics to help out their peers who are struggling; this form of communication can be influential to the student “up at the table.” JT H. of Family Four, said, “If it were not for my peers sharing at table topics, I would not have transformed into the person I am today. It is easier to hear the truth from one of my friends than from staff.
“Making my bed in the morning, doing my own laundry, and taking responsibility for my schoolwork were things that I never did at home. At FFS, my peers have showed me how to take responsibility for my personal life by doing these things consistently every day.”
Staff member Jan Cheripko said, “I don’t like the term negative or positive. I look at the terms of being honest or dishonest. The more a person becomes honest with themselves the more they lead by example for those who are dishonest.” Students and staff agree that positive peer pressure and honesty are big assets in the process of students being able to live healthy lives.
