Dear Marjory

Dear Marjory,

I really like a boy in my family, but at this school we can’t have relationships. I’m trying to keep my distance so I don’t have the opportunity to flirt with him, but he always strikes up conversations with me and I don’t know how to be his friend without wanting more. What should I do?

-All Mixed Up

Dear All Mixed Up,

Believe it or not, you’re one of many students at The Family School who has this problem. I should give you a slap on the wrist and tell you to forget about it, but that’s definitely not realistic. It’s expected for teenagers to have feelings for each other. We have to remember that if we get involved with each other, we will take the focus off ourselves, henceforth creating a huge program failure and possibly stunting the growth of ourselves and those we have a crush on.

So look at it this way: whoever this person is, he was put into your life for a specific reason. Right now, your relationship with him cannot exceed the boundaries of friends. Learn from his presence in your life; learn about yourself, your interactions with the opposite sex, your reasoning for wanting to be close to him. And I promise you: if it’s meant to happen, it will happen in God’s time. Don’t spend all your time with him or thinking about him. Do what God wants you to do now – become the best person you can be.

- Marjory

Dear Marjory,

So I’m writing to you about a struggle of mine concerning reservations. I am leaving soon, and I have reservations to smoke cigarettes and get a girlfriend soon after I leave. I see this as a potential hazard for me, but part of me just puts that aside because I want to go back to those things. I’m sure a lot of the other graduates are going through similar struggles as well, so I was thinking your advice could help us.

- Graduate

Dear Graduate,

If you’re serious about your program and are willing to put your sobriety before anything else, then you’ll see what takes precedence in this situation. You’re welcome to smoke cigarettes and get involved in a relationship when you leave, but you know yourself better than anyone else– is it safe for you? Let’s break it down.

Cigarette smoking is still common among teenagers. As you know, it is a deadly habit and one of the toughest to break once started. It also leaves a nasty lingering smell on you! What kind of life to you want to lead? Does cigarette smoking fit the bill?

They say in the program that relationships are not a great idea for the first year of sobriety. So be careful– I wouldn’t get into a relationship until you’ve got both feet on the ground and are sure your priorities are in line. If you happen to come across someone who really amazes you in the meantime, I’m sure they’ll be worth the wait. Good luck with your decisions!

- Marjory