by Andrew S.
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him…” I once shared the view exhibited in this declaration made in his book Die Fröhliche Wissenschaft.
Traumatizing experiences in my childhood left the imprint in my mind that there is no way God would let something like that happen to me. Quite simply, God wasn’t real.
I began to absorb Nietzsche’s philosophies and he, in a way, became my higher power and justification for everything. “I call Christianity the one great curse, the one enormous and innermost perversion, the one great instinct of revenge, for which no means are too venomous, too underhand, too underground and too petty – I call it the one immortal blemish of mankind,” says Nietzsche in The Twilight of the Idols.
This made it possible for me to participate in delinquent behaviors because according to Nietzsche religion and God meant nothing and, if anything, were a hindrance to society. It’s pretty obvious that with philosophies like this, I was heading nowhere fast. Everyday, I grew more and more depressed and angry.
After being removed from my environment at home, a month and a half of grueling hikes rewarded by beautiful views of nature throughout the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, and a few months at The Family Foundation School I realized that my life was more than drugs, an abusive girlfriend, and the destruction of the relationships around me.
I became open to the idea of a power greater than myself that would relieve the torments that had developed within my psyche. My criticisms of religion were actually criticisms of the people who perverted religion in order to achieve their own selfish ends. This has nothing to do with God. The Crusades are no different than modern day Islamic terrorism. True Christians, Muslims, and Jews do not murder in the name of God.
Pete Jacques, Family Leader of Family Five, was the one who guided me to the answer I had rejected for so long. I needed a higher power – it didn’t matter who or what it was. Soon after, Islam became the vehicle that brought me into contact with God.
My stepfather sent me a necklace with the inscription of Allah in Arabic on it accompanied by a small book written by Imam Ali. I was fascinated by this man’s philosophies and insights. The next book that I picked up in my path toward Islam was The Quran. Recently, I even got the chance to pray in a mosque with my stepfather who has guided me through Islam by sending me literature and teaching me about the religion when we are together.
However, as I progressed in Islam, my judgment on other religions such as Christianity did not subside. I purchased a book that I randomly came across when looking at religious literature along Islamic lines in Barnes & Noble entitled A Spirit of Tolerance about a Sufi teacher in Africa. I was enlightened by one of his most famous teachings, “The rainbow owes its beauty to the variety of its shades and colors. In the same way, we consider the voices of various believers that rise up from all parts of the earth as a symphony of praises addressing God, Who alone can be Unique.”
This teaching is based on a verse in The Quran that says, “The creation of the heavens and the earth, and the diversity of your languages and of your colors are many wonders for those who reflect.” To me, this means that all people and religions are equal under God.
The transformation I have experienced has brought me to emotions and experiences that I never dreamed of. I have gained a sense of confidence which I attribute to my faith in Islam and in God. The leap I made from disbelief to tranquility was the greatest feat I have made in the entirety of my life.
