by Nick B.
My life was spiraling out of control, and I was convinced of only one thing: I was going to be skinny. No matter what it took I would do it. Already battling with self-mutilation, my self-esteem was diminishing as time went on. I couldn’t bear to be in my pain and most importantly in my skin. The relationships I was in left me emotionally and physically scarred and I needed something more. I needed to lose weight.
The summer before my sophomore year I dropped forty pounds and soon people began to notice. My secret obsession with purging shut me out from anything and my sickness was being fed. It ruled my daily routine, and my happiness. The scale was my God and purging was my high. I began stealing laxatives at the pharmacy where I worked, taking diet pills, over exercising, anything I could to rid myself of this filthy fat. What started out as a simple way to lose weight soon owned me in mind and spirit. My health was deteriorating and eventually institutions became my new home. I was miserable. I knew I needed help but my bulimia was so powerful.
Arriving at The Family Foundation School was not my idea of getting my life back on track. My first months were miserable, but I finally decided to fight for myself. I began using the 12 Steps in my daily affairs, building a relationship with my sponsor, and doing some intense therapy assignments.
Recently, I made amends to Sheppard Pratt Eating Disorder Unit, where I stayed for a while. I rejected the help offered to me there and caused them much difficulty. The burden that I let go caused me to be at ease.
My bulimia has improved drastically with only a few slip-ups throughout my stay. I can finally speak the truth and say that there is something far more than just a temporary fix to life’s problems. I have my whole life to live and thanks to the goodness of God and the 12-steps, I can begin to live again.
