The Importance Of Family In The Houses

By Jeff Brain

Everyone—

I am excited about the changes we are making at the school and about the possibilities they provide. It certainly has been an exciting and interesting time.

One concern I have is that in our individual and collective effort to incorporate “house” and “houses” into our daily vocabulary, we will go too far and stop using “family.”  If this occurs, we follow the trend that has occurred in society over the years, as the concept and integrity of the family has gradually eroded.

The erosion of the family and family values is thought to be directly related to the increase in behaviors that we see in many of our students. It is generally accepted that it is not only our students who need help, recovery and healing – but as well.

The family has become something relative, ambiguous, and disposable. I think as we are purposeful about incorporating “house” into our language, we also have to be purposeful in maintaining the important role that “family” has played at The Family Foundation School.

When I am asked to describe the concept of family at FFS, I start by saying that family is our foundation. We use the concept of family to help re-teach young people how to participate in a family unit in a healthy and productive way. And, if we are successful, this will generalize to their family of origin. Our kids typically do learn how to become a functional, healthy, positive member of their family – how to be in relationship to others. This does not happen just by being in the same house together – it happens because of the concept of family.

There are other benefits, I believe, to our concept of family. Our students learn how to relate to one another as brothers and sisters. This not only helps reinforce for our students important concepts of true friendship and relating to one’s own siblings, but I think it helps establish a standard that reaches into “hooking up” (having sex).

I am consistently amazed about how little problem we have with kids sneaking off to have sex, although it does happen, but certainly not to the degree that is seen elsewhere.

I have always thought that one of the reasons is our teaching about relating to one another as brothers and sister – we are in a family together. It is certainly not because we are watching all kids, in all places, all the time.

I am sure the lower than usual frequency grows out of the concept of family. I am concerned that if we all just become people living in houses, one consequence may be an increase in sexual activity among students.

It is important therefore that we remember that families live in houses. As much as we redefine our language to include the concept of the house, we should take purposeful effort to ensure that we continue to talk about the family and the family unit that is contained in that house. Let’s continue the progress we have made by referring to the houses (Smith House, Wilson House, etc) but let’s also be purposeful about talking about the families that live in those houses.

God bless – and thank you all for the amazing work (big and small) that occurs here every day.

Thanks,

Jeff Brain

Tagged as: The Family Foundation School