By Rosie E.
Last Christmas, a distant relative of mine announced that he was divorcing his wife. They had been separated for a few months, and the divorce would be finalized within the next year.
When the Christmas celebrations were over, I quietly asked him how the two had met. The reply was surprising. Apparently, they’d met through an online dating service. “It was a big mistake,” he said.
The phenomena of online dating and mail order marriages may be socially acceptable at this point, but with all the cases of molestation, rape and murder linked to online dating services, I can’t help but wonder what might be racing through people’s minds when they post a profile of themselves on these websites.
E-Harmony.com advertises a perfect match with a “compatible partner,” based on a beginner’s questionnaire examining everything from a person’s intellect to their deepest aspirations.
According to their website, 236 e-harmony members marry their soul mate every day.
What they don’t advertise, however, is how many of those marriages last. In the last year, more online-marriages have been ending, badly.
According to www.post-gazette.com, Matt Frassica, a San Francisco corporate recruiter, married a woman he met on an online dating service. Soon, however, the marriage ended. The Post-Gazette quoted him as saying, “We avoided getting to know the real person. All we knew was the profiles of each other.”
This defies the essence of love, doesn’t it?
“Show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.” (Song of Songs 2:14).
Solomon didn’t say, “Show me your e-Harmony profile, let me read your blog; for your typing skills are impressive and your interests section matches mine.”
I think it is sad that we have come to a point where we are comfortable falling in love with the image on a computer screen in place of flesh and blood human being. Is there some kind of trade-off, or is this just the acceptable level of connection these days?
C.S. Lewis says in his book, The Four Loves, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” With online dating, however, one reaches a new level of vulnerability. Or maybe you don’t. When Adam tasted the forbidden fruit and realized he was naked, he became afraid and hid (Gen. 3:10). Is dating just another level of nakedness?
We hide behind a computer screen, clothing ourselves in the comfort of knowing that suitors can “check us out” and move on without us ever knowing of the rejection.
Of course, there is the other side of the coin. There is no telling whether or not online dating has any real affect on the quality of relationships.
It is very possible that traditional courtship is just becoming a thing of the past. Maybe online dating services assist people in finding “that person.” Maybe online dating services make love happen and are a part of God’s plan.
Regardless, I wish a long-lasting love to all who seek it, online or not.
