Adult Decisions

By Rosie E.

I recently read an article in The Wall Street Journal about the importance of parents taking time to talk to their teenagers about love and relationships.

According to the article, teen relationships strongly influence their development into adulthood, so getting parental advice is a vital step in the process of growing up.

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that the crucial pieces of becoming an adult are the ones that make us the least comfortable. The last thing I want to do is discuss with my dad that feeling of butterfly-goose-bump-can’t-think-can’t-sleep-hopeless-puppy-love. That’s nothing against my dad, of course. It’s just one of those things that make me squirm.

According to a study done by Dr. Stephanie Madsen, a professor of psychology at McDaniel College, young people whose parents are available to talk, listen, and give dating advice have warmer, closer, and healthier relationships than those who don’t.

I would caution young people, however, to remember that the communication goes both ways.

Most of my friends here at school know all about my first love. He was four years older and had everything that I thought I didn’t: edge, culture, excitement, rebellion. I was, almost immediately, so wrapped up in the relationship that every virtue and value I had gained growing up seemed to slip away, as though it had never been there in the first place. Whether he knew it or not, he had me wrapped tightly around his pinky and I was willing to do anything to stay there.

I knew that my parents would not approve if they were ever to learn of the true nature of our relationship, and I would be banned from seeing him. So I didn’t tell them what was really going on. That was the first of many communication blocks to come.

But after all was said and done, I found that my parents were more understanding and helpful than anyone else. They reminded me that if I was willing to make “adult decisions,” I had better be prepared to accept adult consequences.

I learned through many uncomfortable talks with my parents that they had my best interest at heart, and that if I had listened to them, I probably could have avoided a lot of the pain I put myself through.

And isn’t that what we all really want? Loving, close, warm and healthy relationships with the people I love have proven to be one of the manifestations of my Higher Power.

I’ve tossed around different ideas of a power greater than myself, and the common denominator with all of them is simple: love. Love for myself, love for my neighbor, and most importantly, love for my family.

I’ve heard many definitions of love: Love is the fulfillment of the law. Love is seeking the greater good in another person, etc. But then I heard this one: Love is endurance. It is enduring the hard times, the silence, the absence, and yes, even the awkward conversations with your Dad.