A Deeper Look Into the No Name Practice of Alcoholics Anonymous
By Ross A.
In the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, among alcoholics eating in local diners, and even within the hallways of The Family Foundation School, a recurrent discussion arises. What is “anonymity”? What exactly does it entail? Does it forbid me from telling my neighbor that I’m a member of AA, or does it allow me to proclaim my membership in AA from the rooftops if I please?
Anonymity is a concept that, over the last several decades, has become less than concrete among the newer members of AA.
There are many different perspectives on the practice of anonymity. AA literature, the viewpoints of many members of AA, along with those of Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, all address the AA concept of anonymity.
Anonymity is defined and developed in AA in the 11th and 12th Traditions. The 11th Tradition states, “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.”
This statement seems simple. Members of AA should not boast of their membership in public. Members of AA must not fall into a dangerous pursuit of public recognition. This requires a certain amount of humility on their part. Terry M. expressed how he practices this principle in his life. “I don’t take credit for anything I say,” he said.
Breaking one’s anonymity at the public level also brings about another risk. What if I publicly expressed my membership in AA and then relapse? Would anyone venture to blame AA?
Jan C. said, “I do a lot of public speaking. In those talks I make it clear that I’m a recovering addict, but I never say that I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I don’t want the burden of my recovery to fall on AA. It falls on me.”
Although the idea of anonymity expressed in the 11th tradition seems clear-cut, it does not cover all the bases. Some argue about anonymity on the interpersonal level, for the 11th tradition says nothing about how members of AA should exercise anonymity with one another.
A quote that guides one to a better understanding can be found in Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers. Dr. Bob, one of the co-founders of AA, said, “There were two ways to break the anonymity tradition: (1) by giving your name at the public level of press and radio; and (2) by being so anonymous that you can’t be reached by other drunks.”
In other words, you can be overly anonymous, and you can be not anonymous enough. Terry M. admitted, “I sometimes give my last name at meetings so the newcomer can look me up in the phonebook if he wants to call me.”
Alcoholics walking into the rooms for the first time would be in serious trouble if they could not contact a member. It seemed that the foundational ideas have not changed much in the old timers’ minds. Terry M.’s statement sounds a lot like what Bill W., the other co-founder of AA, describes in As Bill Sees It when he said, “Talk of AA amongst members and at the personal level was of the utmost importance… word of mouth is one of our most important communications.”
There is another level of anonymity that must be taken into account on the personal level. The guiding light on the matter is found in the 12th Tradition, which states, “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”
This seemingly simple concept of “principles before personalities” is actually a little more complicated. Ed B. summed it up when he said, “Sometimes different people don’t want to be acknowledged outside the rooms. They don’t want that confidentiality broken… if we break that, we’re not adhering to the principles of the program.” Tom W. said, “Anonymity means that I can say I was at a meeting, but not that you were at a meeting.”
It would clearly be wrong to commit this act against a member of AA. Alcoholics go to meetings to get help with their challenges but, “Anybody in recovery has the right to exist in society without any other person disclosing their relationship to the program,” said Rick R.
Gossiping, as this could be called, is not a new problem within the fellowship of AA. On pg. 299 of As Bill Sees It, Bill Wilson said, “We’d sometimes discuss those intimate and harrowing aspects of one’s case meant for his sponsor’s ear alone. The aggrieved victim would then rightly declare that his trust had been broken.”
Members of the fellowship should always keep in mind that they must not speak of the matters of another’s personal life; they must be conscious of how heavily their words can affect other people, especially a recovering alcoholic.
Bob R., one of the original members of the FFS staff, said, “Be aware of what you’re doing and saying; you should be trying not to hurt someone… We need to be aware of the frailness of other people.”
Everything presented so far is stated concisely at the start of most AA meetings with the words, “What you hear here, who you see here, when you leave here, please let it stay here.” Ed B. referenced this when he said, “That’s the way it should be.” Rick R. believes this commitment is of utmost importance in AA meetings. “I take it very seriously,” he said.
In the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, anonymity provides a sense of safety and security. The awareness that everything said in an AA meeting will stay among those with whom it was shared provides comfort to many members. It allows them to divulge their personal experiences and struggles. It has made it possible for millions of strangers to trust one another and create a fellowship that has thrived for over half a century.
This trust would not have been possible for many in their days of alcohol use when paranoia compelled them to keep everyone at arm’s length.
Anonymity has eased the journey of millions of alcoholics to understand their disease. Many have acquired a deeper knowledge of themselves through the help and insight of other alcoholics in whom they put their trust. As long as members of AA can respect these aspects of anonymity, they will continue providing comfort and and security to their fellows — newcomers and old timers alike.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post.
It helped me focus in on anonymity as it is meant to be.
There’s a case to be made for “strict constructionism” insofar as the Traditions of AA are concerned. So long as one doesn’t hold himself out as a member of AA or a spokesperson for AA, then the standard has been maintained.
It is imperative that at least some recovering addicts — and I’ll wager that the vast majority of them are involved withn one 12 Step program or another — speak out loudly and publicly in order to destigmatize addiction and to give some hope to those who are perilously close to giving up hope.