By Gabe L.
A few weeks ago I stepped into room 101 for an interview with Austin C. about his family, Talbot House, for The Family Times. I asked how he was doing and we quickly got off topic talking about his last home visit.
He was sober for eight months and was in a positive state of mind before leaving on his second home visit in late August.
“I’ve always envied kids who got to see their friends on home visits, even though I knew it wouldn’t help,” said Austin, chemistry and math intern, and former RA at the school. I viewed him to be a robotic senior member who didn’t think about or act on the negative things in life; he had already put in his work here.
Departing a good place in a good head, however, does not mean that your mind cannot be influenced. After attending a stressful wedding on the third day, Austin decided to help his mom out and get some time alone to think. He washed her car, and soaked in one of the last warm days of the year, when a white Denali rolled slowly down his road. Memories started to pass through his mind about all the crazy times he had in a similar looking car. It had to be my friend’s mom, thought Austin as he read the license plate.
Through the window he saw the all too familiar face of a friend who enjoyed pot just as much as Austin had. Conversation was unavoidable. Quickly the talking came to a halt when a blunt was offered. Austin apprehensively responded with a slow “Nah, I’m trying not to do that anymore,” and his friend left disappointed.
Later that day a teary-eyed 220-lb guy known as Touchdown Tommy knocked on his door and embraced Austin when he answered. Tommy used to be one of his best friends. Tommy told Austin no one had forgotten him. He told him that his name still got brought up in normal conversations, and on his 18th birthday, brigades of friends had driven by his house, hoping that he would be home, and that an old girlfriend still left posts on his Facebook account. Austin was overwhelmed with a sense of being loved, a sense of being important in a way he never felt at The Family Foundation School.
Besieged with thoughts and questions of what to do, he tried to take his mind off the subject. However, his principles were eventually overcome by his emotions when he decided to check his Facebook. He found out that his friend was telling the truth; there were almost 150 posts, most recently from three days before. Austin thought about The Family School, he thought about the lack of appreciation and respect he felt there.
He thought about all the work he had put into the people there who still didn’t seem to care. “I didn’t know what to believe anymore,” he said. Justifying and manipulating the situation, Austin decided to stay home and live his old life with the people he thought actually cared.
Austin called a friend to go get high. He dialed the number and waited. Each ring reverberated in his mind, shaking every moral sense he ever had. He couldn’t tap into his conscience; he had already made his decision. The ringing stopped and the predictable message started to play.
This is the point in Austin’s story where I question if God is among us. Did God place all those friends in Austin’s way? Did he place all those posts on Facebook? Did he make that phone keep ringing and ringing? Or did he do all three for a purpose? Whether or not it was God, Austin decided to come back to get his diploma.
Austin was once again overcome by a strong moral sense to do the right thing when he saw the school. This is when he really understood the meaning of the AA slogan to stay away from people, places and things.
“I wasn’t home for more than an hour and my whole attitude changed, and then completely changed again within minutes of being at the school,” said Austin.
I have been here six months now and I pride myself on being sober for that long. But what is sobriety? Is it the absence of substances in the body? Or the ability to have my favorite poison placed in front of my eyes and under my nose to smell, and say no thank you.
Until hearing Austin’s story I had thought being sober was being without drugs, so living at a controlled boarding school was being sober. But The Family School is not being sober; just because I’m not using doesn’t mean I’m sober. This is a place to practice some guidelines and principles that I can use in the outside world.
“If it weren’t for being at The Family School, there would never have been a question in my mind about what the right choice for me was,” said Austin.
I sometimes get so lost in all the rules that I don’t agree with here, and the little arguments that break out, that I forget the whole point of this school. I forget that my life had taken a turn for the worse because of the way I think and make decisions.
I plan on going home six months from now, and I know that a situation could be presented to me just as it was to Austin. The only thing I can pray for and work towards is that I make the right choice.
