A Merger of Two Families Brings a Spiritual Awakening
By Nicole K.
For the majority of my stay at The Family Foundation School I found myself clicking up with like-minded girls, sliding under the radar, and lying to anyone around me. Although many people called me out on my ridiculous behavior, I did not make a change until I was here ten months. I did talk to my sponsor, though most of the time she could only warn me that if I did not take my recovery seriously, I was bound to leave the school just as miserable as I had been before arriving.
Of course I did not believe her, thinking that the effort I was putting in to please my parents would be enough to please me as well. I was dead wrong. My prayer life was wavering constantly and yet I wondered why I was not moving along as smoothly as I wanted to. My half-measures were giving me half-results, and I was not happy.
Before December graduation I was very comfortable sitting in my self-pity. I was holding onto one of my best friends, who happened to be graduating, and not facing the fact that I would not have her to rely on for much longer. I then found out that my family, Smith House, was going to merge with Lake House, full of kids I didn’t know or even interact with. I felt a powerful urge to pray that my world would not come crashing down when our two families combined; that I would find the strength to make it through.
The first day was miserable, trekking my belongings back and forth in the snow from one trailer to another at least ten times. We all got new juniors and some, new sponsors. The family was cramped to say the least, and louder than it had ever been before, but for some reason, I was not sitting in self-pity like I usually would be. I was excited about what was going to happen next. Every chance I got, I prayed. I experienced a feeling that I had never had before, that God was going to carry me through and not let me down. Although I was no longer comfortable, I knew that the merging would be a chance for me to finally step up and set an example for the kids who were not doing as well.
Graduations are always hard to deal with because we rely on senior members so heavily. They, however, present tremendous opportunities for others too. Although it is hard for me to confront someone when I know they will not like it, I know now that I am doing the right thing, which means more to me than anything else. I have to remember that if it wasn’t for people bringing things to my attention, then I would not have seen the truth about myself.
I urge anyone who is sliding under the radar to wake up and start looking at his true colors. I can hardly express in words how amazing the feeling is of being free and of knowing that whatever is put in front of me, I can handle. Although sometimes I do feel unsteady in the new Lake House, I know that each day, each minute, and each second, is a new opportunity to have a positive attitude and to help out someone in need. In the end we are all much more fortunate than we think, and if we learn to trust, God will provide.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Nicole, I enjoyed your article and identified with two points. One is that change initiated from forces outside of my own plans and my own will (Life) initially hit me with emotions of fear and doubt. The second is that out of these changes comes opportunity – if I can learn to overcome the pessimism with faith or trust. I say that I trust in principles that I have decided to live by or I say trust in a power greater then my self which I call God. Based on the principles for living which I have learned through the 12 steps, I practice meeting change & crisis with faith and positive energy. The more I practice the easier it is. And why? For me the answer is that the more I practice the more experience I have seeing that it works! Thanks for sharing.
In reference to Mike’s comment, the more we experience that it works, the more quickly we will turn to our faith when the next challenging situation comes into our lives. I can only speak for myself, but it gets easier and easier each time to trust.