Students Bond through Marshmallows, Candles, Prayers, and Music to Help the Grieving Process
By Nicole K.
Students at The Family Foundation School often have experienced tragic events that have brought them to the school. For many of them, loss is one of those events.
To help process such loss, FFS created a group where students can grieve and talk about their loved ones.
When an opening for a new group leader emerged, Director of Admissions, Jeff Brain, jumped in to take over. Brain uses his zany and fun personality as a tool to make grieving a more positive experience. He uses ideas like burning letters in a fire, decorating rocks, setting free balloons with notes, and releasing floating candles on the pond to help kids deal with loss. He has helped the group send letters attached to balloons into the air and even had a “letter burning” ceremony.
On Friday, July 16, Brain cleared the schedule for a night of serenity and remembering. The whole group of students marched down to the fire pit to enjoy a blazing fire and an assortment of foods and drinks. “We roasted almost every food we could get our hands on,” said student Janai W. Brain encouraged everyone to share what landed them in grief group and some information about their lost loved ones.
After the s’mores were eaten, a marshmallow fight broke out, thanks to Brain, and lasted almost 20 minutes. The marshmallow fight was followed by a water fight which got everyone in a great mood. The fights were not just for fun though. Brain made a point that grieving did not always have to be sad and depressing, but sometimes needed to be complimented with fun.
After settling down, kids were able to meditate in the woods and share their thanksgivings. The group finished up at the fire pit and headed to the pond where Brain introduced the next activity. Following ice-cream, each student was given two floating candles to release onto the pond in memory of their loved ones.
When a sudden fog covered the area, the light of the candles was the only thing visible. The group then gathered and listened to music on the bridge and everyone spent 20 minutes in prayer. “Listening to the music on the bridge brought me closer to everyone around me,” said Jaci K. Some students prayed together while some detached themselves from the group and sat by the water.
As the fog faded, the students formed a circle and each verbalized their feelings about the night. Some observed that by the time the ceremony was over, exactly 19 candles remained lit: the exact number of students in the group.
There was no doubt that the night was successful. No student left without a profound feeling of closeness and love for the rest of the group. Everyone was eager to find out what Brain had up his sleeve for the next month.
