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Music Brings Joy

By Jack S.

On Tuesday, May 24, the chorus had the treat of performing for one more person. The judges at the North American Music Festival in Hershey, Pa. had heard the songs, the parents, students on Family Day heard them, and finally, The Family Singers had the chance to sing for former FFS principal and beloved friend, Robin Ducey.

Ducey isn’t just anybody who was interested in FFS’ musical talents. She has been involved in selecting the songs for chorus every year with Music Director Paul Geer. For the past 18 years, she has been an important help and support to the performing arts program at The Family School until she was diagnosed with cancer early in 2010.

Ducey, who was Betton House’s family leader with her husband Mike, took a seat on the couch in her living room as the entire chorus squeezed into her house in Callicoon, N.Y.. She greeted all of the students as they walked in.

Before they sang their first song, Soon Ah Will Be Done, a student asked Geer if they should sing “all out.” He responded comically, “O yes! Robin doesn’t care if her windows shatter!” Paul and both Mike and Robin Ducey worked at The Family School together for almost two decades and have been close friends since the day they met in Hancock.

Robin knew most of the songs and had a great comment to say after every one of them. “Great job baritones! That’s the best I have ever heard that song.” No matter what conditions Robin is in, she always seems to lighten the atmosphere.

As the show was coming to an end, Geer said, “Hold your horses Robin. There is one more song.” Just then, he put his fingers to the piano looked at the first soloist, Sam M, and smiled. At that moment, every chorus member knew what was coming. More emotions spilled out than anyone of them could handle. The final song was Lean On Me. Just as Sam  did to his mom on Family Day, he sang his heart out to Robin Ducey. Sam brought tears to so many eyes that Robin couldn’t help but offer her praise and gratitude to them all at the end.

This event on that late afternoon was more than the performers were expecting. Many chorus members noticed how Mike was getting Robin water and looking out for her well-being. This taught the students that family is extremely important.

As the students were leaving, Robin stopped everyone and one last remark: “I can’t tell you how badly I needed this positive energy.”

Alumni News

Class of June 2004

On June 14, 2001, Laura S. was sent to The Family School for alcohol and drug abuse, theft, truancy, and running away.

At The Family School, Laura tried to “fly under the radar” in order to stay out of trouble. Because of her fears, she tried to seem perfect on the outside rather than making lasting internal changes. Laura had a difficult time being honest because she was fearful of the consequences she felt she might experience if she was herself rather than what she thought others wanted her to be. She recalls that people saw right through it.

If she could change anything about her stay, Laura said that really on her mind and faced the effects afterward. She stated that she stayed here much longer than others because she was not real.

During her stay, Laura appreciated the support she received from her friends and sponsor. She also received help from attending A.A. meetings, working the Steps, and holding others and herself accountable. After graduating, she was supported by her family and new friends. “It’s important to have people around supporting and validating me.”

The day of graduation, Laura drove away with her mom and attended a meeting. She got a sponsor right away and threw herself into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Laura admitted that she had struggles that tempted her to throw it all away, “but I’ve never gotten to the point where taking a drink has been necessary.” Laura has  been heavily involved in A.A., especially young people’s A.A., and general service. “Service is what keeps me spiritually fit, on track, and grateful.” She currently has 10 years of sobriety.

Laura attended New York University and graduated in 2008 with a Bachelor’s degree in music for violin performance. She had a baby in June of 2009 with her husband, Daniel, who has been in the program of A.A. for 15 years. They are both dedicated to sobriety and help each other as both spouses and alcoholics. Laura said that A.A. is the reason why their relationship has been so successful. Together, they hosted ICYPAA (International Convention of Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous) in New York City, with 5,000 attendees.

Laura and her family currently live in Brooklyn, but they plan to move to Houston, Texas in July to be closer to her family. “We can go anywhere on the planet and feel at home as long as we hit A.A. meetings during the week.”

To the newcomer, Laura said, “Be honest with yourself. Find the fellowship that works for you.”

Alumni News

Dean B.

Class of June 2006

Dean B. returned to The Family School on May 21 with staff member Chris Scott.

Before his arrival at FFS, Dean lived a life full of violence, drugs, and multiple arrests. The unmanageable lifestyle finally caught up to him and Dean was court mandated to the Family School on May 14, 2004.

For his whole stay, Dean was a member of Family Four (now Mann House). After two years of being dishonest, refusing help, and fighting everyone, Dean hit rock bottom and decided to get his act together. By participating in sports, chorus, woodcarving, staying out of trouble, and doing internal work, Dean was eligible to graduate high school from FFS on June 23, 2007.

Life for the first year and a half outside the school was difficult for Dean. “The first year is not easy. It is hard adjusting, trying to find out how you fit in, and life does have a lot of pressures.” He managed to get through those times by visiting and remaining in touch with the school.

Now, Dean is a construction worker in Manhattan, and finds life “absolutely excellent.” He believes that his stay at The Family School was one of the most beneficial experiences of his life and is grateful for every second of it. He misses everything about FFS, especially current staff member Joe Petriella and former staff members Jim Kavarnos and Joe Salamoni, whom he describes as the most influential people in his life.

To the newcomer, Dean says, “Don’t quit. Don’t run away. Face the problems, and face the consequences of your actions.”

Alumni News

Rebecca B. and Candace M.
Class of December 2010

Two alumni visited and worked at FFS from June 2 to June 8.

Rebecca B. arrived at The Family School for her violent outbursts at her parents. Her life before FFS consisted of truancy, unhealthy relationships, self-centeredness, and violence.

Rebecca described her stay at the school as calm until her eighteenth birthday. “I was covering up my emotions, and I let them out on my eighteenth birthday.” After overcoming this struggle, Rebecca said, “I knew myself better. I began accepting days as they came.”

After graduating from FFS, Rebecca constantly reminds herself of the lessons she learned. “I have to accept the difference between other people and me. I remind myself that I shouldn’t be controlling others, but rather understanding of others.” Rebecca said that she continues to have struggles, but “ [she is] able to think my way around it.”

To the newcomer, Rebecca said, “Live and enjoy every moment as it comes. When you’re old, you’re going to want to look back and be happy with it.”

Candace M. arrived at The Family School for depression and anxiety. She describes her life before FFS as “hazy and unfulfilling.” She compared her stay to the Superman ride at a theme park. “It had its ups and downs, ins and outs, but I came out like a superhero!” she exclaimed comically. At FFS, she learned the true meaning of acceptance and self-worth. “I utilize the concept of acceptance. I also have to keep on pushing myself with the understanding of knowing I deserve more in life.”

Upon graduating, Candace’s biggest struggle was adjusting back into normal elements of daily life, such as waking up alone and eating lunch without 30 of her friends. She currently attends Sacred Heart University, and described her current life as “colorful, eventful, and purposeful. Oh, and fun! So fun.”

To the newcomer, she said, “Nothing worthwhile is easy. Give it a chance, because you have nothing to lose.”

Alumni News

Zach N. and Max Z. came back to visit The Family School on Memorial Day, May 30.

Zach was admitted into FFS on September 4, 2009, and was placed in Betton House. He described his previous life as “confusing,” full of anger, fighting with family, trouble with the law, and dishonesty. At FFS, he learned how to push through life’s struggles. His biggest helps were Max Z., Annie and Gerald Janauer, Tommy Cummings, and Rita Argiros.

Upon graduating, Zach practices the things he learned at FFS to handle his daily life. He will begin his freshman year at Canisius College in Buffalo, New York in the fall to study psychology. He currently works at Burlington Hospital in Vermont.

To the newcomer, Zach says to “just accept the help. Keep in mind, you are here to improve yourself and learn.”

Max Z. came with Zach N. on Memorial Day to spread his experience, strength, and hope. Max arrived at The Family School on April 6, 2009 for serious drug abuse, depression, and an angry attitude.
He said that his life before The Family Foundation School was “extremely ridiculous” and the quality of his life was choked by his drug use.

Max was placed in Family One, which turned into Betton House. His biggest help was his sponsor Bill Cordts, student Zach N., and all the members of Family One. He said that the help he received was what got him through FFS.

“Life is now amazing,” Max said. Now, he feels that he is able to make the right decisions. His primary goal is to “work hard in college.” He will attend Florida Gulf Coast University in the fall with upcoming FFS June 2011 graduate Jack S.

His advice to the newcomer is, “Reach out to anyone you can find, talk to them.”

Alumni News

Emily R.

Class of December 2007

FFS alumnus Emily R. came to visit on May 18 with her 23-month-old daughter Adelina.

Rodriguez arrived at The Family School in February of 2006. She was placed in Family Six with family leaders Paul Geer and Christine Speicher. She said that the biggest lesson she received from FFS was the ability to deal with everyday problems. “I see a lot of people my age that can’t overcome daily issues. I feel like I left this school with something that can help me for the rest of my life, and something to pass on to my daughter… if she’ll listen to me.”

Emily currently attends Hunter College in Manhattan where she studies psychology. She also works part time at a shoe store. Next year, R. plans to begin a Masters program in psychology or nursing.

Her biggest struggle is finding peers that she can trust. She said that it’s hard to find a support system of people her own age.

She says to the newcomer, “This is only a fraction of your life. It doesn’t last forever.”

Talbot House News

Talbot House is losing its gradu­ates this month, and “middle-of-the-road” students are continuing to step up. The new dorm leading position which has opened up for the boys in the family gave Cameron S. and Justin P. a chance to prove that they had leadership abilities and to bring order to the dorm.

June graduation is making some of the newer students in Talbot House a little worried about what the family is going to be like now that much of the senior support is leaving. “Although I’m excited to see what the newer kids in this family are made of, I’m nervous for the months to come,” said Billy J.  Billy is going to be sticking around over the summer for a couple of months and is planning on continuing to uphold the principles that family leaders Jan Cheripko and Dawne Possemato have taught him.

On Memorial Day, Talbot House students Justin P. and Ron R. helped spread their music to Family School students and staff.

Also, Talbot House graduates Bennett O., Patty R. and Fran H. have joined cho­rus in singing ‘Many Gifts’ during the June graduation ceremony.

On June 10, Talbot had a gradu­ation party at Walton Park with Mann House. It was a time for the family to bond with the graduates, share good memories, and start to say their goodbyes. “This was a great experience to have in early sobriety, it really gives ‘sober fun’ a new meaning. I had a ton of fun at Walton Park,” said Sebastian S.

Mann House News

Mann House received visits from alumni Rebecca B. and Can­dace M. this month. The De­cember 2010 graduates came back to not only spread their experience, strength, and hope, but also to give back to the school that paved their pathway for life.

Rebecca and Candace worked as staff at The Family School from June 2 to June 8 in various families. “We’ll be back!” Cabdace reassured. Both alumni promised to make an effort to come back to work again in July.

Mann House students and staff said goodbye to beloved family members. Students bid farewell to Owen D., program gradu­ate Jordan N. and high school graduates Jajce W. and Kevin G.. “I’m going to miss the graduates so much!” said student Alison G.

Students flip-flopped between families for the good of the in­dividual as well as the families. Elizabeth O. joined Mann House from Betton House, as Aus­tin H. switched from Mann to Talbot.

Also in the month of June, Mann House and Talbot House took a graduation trip to Walton Park. Both families enjoyed a fun-filled afternoon in each other’s company. Some students swam, then sunbathed on the fresh grass, as some students were diving for frisbees. “I think it was our fam­ily’s opportunity to relax, hang out, and bond with one another,” said student Anastasia R.

Lake House News

By Joe T.

Lake House students are preparing for a very eventful month. George D., Jordan S., and Brian O., three of Lake House’s biggest supports, will be graduating high school this month. Raven S. will also be departing the school as a program graduate.

All four of these students are working as hard as they can to help out the family before Graduation Day on June 25. The family spent their last trip with these graduates on June 11. They traveled down to Mike Argiros’ house to spend the day swimming and eating a tasty barbeque. “It was a nice break and I’m happy to have one last chance to have with the last moment graduates,” said Sean D.

As for academics, Lake House students are getting quiet time in their daily schedules to prepare for the upcoming exams. Along with final exams, the majority of the students will be taking Regent’s. “I need to get more prepared. I started studying a lot as of late, but not nearly enough,” said student Zach E.

Lucas M. received junior sponsoring and his first sponsee, Jon Il. Lucas has realized it is his duty to fill the role of the departing family members and has fully accepted it. “Lucas has come to show his true, real, gentle, and caring personality,” said staff member America Restaino.

It is now the time for remaining Lake House members to come together and start building a stronger family.

Betton House News

By Rebecca W.

This month, Betton House has been working to achieve family unity in order to prepare for the June graduates’ departure. Much-beloved family members Nash B., Buddy R., Emily M., and transfer Michelle J. will be leaving. Thus, “middle-of-the-road” students are taking on new responsibilities so they will be able to fill the gradu­ates’ shoes.

Ahna L. earned the responsibility of shadowing, as well as a buddy, Kinga H. Brian H. also got a buddy, Andrew G.; however, An­drew became George L.’s buddy when Brian took on the responsibility of buddying Lucas V. Additionally, Alex R. got a buddy named Maxwell W. Ezra B. earned the responsibility of junior sponsoring, and Becca W, Matt A., Chris B., Chris C., and Adam B. have also been supportive in the confusion and stress of gradu­ation and exams.

Samuel D. headed off to continue his life at home in Maryland, while, Liz O. switched to Mann House. The fam­ily wishes them both well.

Betton House had a graduation party on Saturday, June 11, at Chris Scott’s house. The family had a lot of fun bonding and sending the graduates off with more great memories.

Though the departing graduates will be sorely missed, the family has faith in them and hopes that they have joy and success in all their future endeavors.