Your browser (Internet Explorer 7 or lower) is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites. Learn how to update your browser.

X

Working up to Stewardship

By Sally H. : 7 February 2013

Stewards Sally H. and Shannon S.
Stewards Sally H. and Shannon S.

Recently, The Family School added an honorary title for students to aspire – stewardship. A steward is a responsible, hard-working student who is trusted and has the ability to junior sponsor other students.

Hard-working, responsible and trustworthy students at The Family School may now be granted an honorary title of “Steward.”

To be included in the group, students must possess and practice these characteristics, be a junior sponsor to other students and be selected by their peers to attend the weekly meetings. The meetings give the stewards an opportunity to share their struggles and frustrations, which differ from the struggles and frustrations new students may have, with one another.

The group affords them the chance to give and receive feedback. The meetings are usually one to three hours.

“They help me get support from my peers in a healthy way,” said Shannon.

Sobriety Induced Enlightenment

By Sally H. : 31 January 2013

A picture of Sally H.
A picture of Sally H.

I was just getting off cleaning crew and I couldn’t have been in a worse mood. I was wandering down the hallway when a new student, Hunter, said he needed to ask me something. I didn’t feel like talking and I definitely didn’t feel like answering any questions. “What,” I replied dully and uninterestedly. To my surprise his question caught my attention — “How do you separate art and drugs?”

This question has plagued me since my arrival at FFS eighteen months ago. In that moment I had to muster up every morsel of mental strength to force out my cynical thoughts.

I’ve spent hours in distress trying to fathom what art would be without drugs or alcohol.

Before getting sober I spent many of my afternoons in acid crazed, techno blaring frenzies truly believing that I had emerged into a world of drug induced enlightenment at last.Once I got to that place everything was beautiful. Yet, whenever I made art while under the influence, the credit always went to the drugs.

When I first arrived at FFS, I spent my first five months in an isolated depression, pouring the little energy I had into creating a series of drug-themed drawings. My peers quickly took notice of the bizzare images and I was put on a “no-drawing” sanction.

In my indignant fury I came to the realization that the only way to get off of this sanction was to fool everyone. I decided I was going to temporarily draw mind-numbing things to get people off my back.

I began taking one of Judith’s art classes to show those around me that I had moved past my negative art phase.

Unbeknownst to me, upon entering Judith’s art room, would be enthralled by the ethereal beauty haloing her pieces. After working with her I learned what it was to create art. When Judith drew something, she was able to reach a place within herself that connected to the subject of her artwork. As a result her drawings had an intrinsic depth that delved way past the sheet on which they appeared.

My eyes and my mind became open to a reality far beyond anything I had ever experienced. I discovered this reality when I began making art in a clear state of mind, no longer fogged by a thick shroud of substances.

The things I drew no longer needed to be psychedelic or outlandish for me to appreciate them; I was finally able to see the natural sublimity that lies within every living thing.

To me, that’s where the beauty lies.

Making a Spiritual Connection

By Dani R. : 9 November 2012

Girls from The Family School attend a 3-day retreat at <a href="http://www.msaviour.org/">Mount Saviour Monastery</a> in Elmira, NY.
Girls from The Family School attend a 3-day retreat at Mount Saviour Monastery in Elmira, NY.

Many recovering alcoholics describe their spiritual experiences in the Big Book as an “immediate and overwhelming God-consciousness followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.” When I was selected to go on an all-girl retreat to Mount Saviour Monastery in Elmira, NY, I was expecting to discover The Light—to be enlightened and sanctified in a way that would solve my problem(s) forever.

After stocking up on groceries for the following three days, all the teen-girl commotion died down as soon we rode into the gorgeous Mt. Saviour grounds. Green hills littered by hundreds of sheep were rolling for miles—lined by the beautifully colored autumn trees and the quaint white monastery buildings. We left behind the commotion of life at The Family School and entered into the simple community of 15 Benedictine monks.

They live a life I could never even imagine. The monks glorify God from from the time they wake up (3 a.m.) until they go to sleep (9 p.m.).  In the meantime, they serve their guests and care for their sheep from which they produce market lambs, yarn and pelt products. Their prayer schedule includes Vigils at 4:45 am, Lauds at 7:00 am, Sext at 12:00 pm, Vespers at 6:30 pm, and the night concludes with Compline at 8:15.

I went to Compline on my first night and it might have been the most incredible experience of my life. The whole chapel was lit by a single candle; barely illuminating the figures of about a dozen monks bowing with hooded robes and one harpist. To be honest, I was extremely scared and uncomfortable and initially felt that I had entered into a cult séance. Was this the wrong room?

Then they started to pray. What came out of their lips was the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard. They were chanting the Psalms in a way that permeated my entire spirit. The monks lift their voices to the Lord and pray for the world several times a day, seven days a week. I suddenly understood their devotion to God—what’s not to rejoice about? My heart was in a place where I could give and receive love. My “self” didn’t matter in the slightest; I had a quick peek of the bigger picture.

“What came  out of their lips was the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard…”

Three days of prayer, rest, and meditation and we had to leave paradise and rejoin the world. We finished the trip with lunch at Friendly’s and all thoughts of God’s grace and mercy were replaced by thoughts of my Boca burger and Pumpkin Pie sundae. It was as if I was coming back from a weekend at camp with my girlfriends, not a monastery trip. I was very angry with myself; I doubted if I even took anything out of the retreat.

So when we got back in the van I took out my rosary and started to pray.  I realized that I must make a decision to do God’s will. It doesn’t just magically happen. We have the opportunity every moment to do His will and do the next right thing. It takes work, discipline and faith. There is a reason that the AA Big Book says perfectly that, “God could and would if He were sought.” There was a time at the retreat that I experienced absolute serenity, and this is something that I can hold to be true for the rest of my life.

Language Teacher Dies From Injuries

Bill Kromer taught Spanish level II and III classes.
By Tyler M

William Kromer, a cherished Spanish teacher at FFS died Wednesday October 3rd due to traumatic injuries from a motorcycle accident August 23 after being struck by a deer on Route 97 in Hancock.
Students and staff at FFS recall Kromer as a very special man with extraordinary talents and lots of blessings. Just as proficient in Spanish as he was English, he retired from Downsville Central School after 30 years and began working at The Family School, where he taught for 8 years.

“He was an honest, straightforward, trustworthy man. I could always trust him and he would try to help me every time we talked,” explains student Luke M. Students all say the same thing; everyone loved him and respected his knowledge on a great level.

A very diverse man who could speak seven languages, play the piano, and had a photographic memory made Kromer such a brilliant, interesting individual. “He was such a good guy, had a great sense of humor and was always outgoing, very willing to take a minute and talk to you, not to mention he was very talented musically,” said Coach Carlton Williams.

It isn’t until someone is gone that you understand how much they mean to you and that is what students at FFS are appreciating now. Whether it be giving moral or academic support or just a good friend, Bill was always there to count on. “Budget cuts years ago forced us to cut back on staff and William was the first one to volunteer to work, he loved helping people out,” says teacher Cindy Argiros.
“Besides his pervasive loving-kindness and compassion, I’ll remember him most for his stories. The man was incredible,” student Dani R says, remembering their conversations together in his classroom. He had a way of looking at you through his thick-framed glasses that showed genuine care for how you were doing. He would listen attentively, and somehow, he would always just understand. The absolute rawness, simplicity, and sincerity that Bill Kromer lived by remains unparalleled by any man I have ever met.

“Dios, me da la serenidad, para aceptar las cosas que no podemos cambiar, el corage para cambiar las que si puedo, y la sabidura para reconecer la diferencia,” Kromer would start every class with this Spanish version of the Serenity prayer; smiling and paying special attention to the true meaning of the words and the immaculate rolling of his “r’s.” He taught in a way that was enthusiastic and engaging, never giving up on even the most self-defeated and unwilling students. Consequently, the kids would gradually open up and learn the curriculum, and Kromer would be there to praise and encourage them right along. Nothing would make him absolutely beam with joy more than when a student would start to believe in themselves as much as he believed in them—except maybe his adorable little terrier puppy, Lupe.

 

FFS Welcomes Glenn Singer

 

By Mike C.

A new semester means new beginnings, new experiences and new chances. It also means some new faces and the Family School is proud to introduce their newest staff member Glenn Singer.

Glenn has had a lot of experience working with kids throughout his career. After graduating from Kenyon College in Ohio, Glenn has worked at numerous private day schools and boarding schools throughout Iowa, Massachusetts and Maryland. He has also worked at various other recovery programs, at both inpatient and outpatient programs, but this is his first job at a therapeutic boarding school.

Glenn started working at The Family School on July 5th as the Assistant Dean of Admissions, but his work does not stop there. He is also a student advisor in Lake House and is working his way toward sponsorship. Glenn is well known for his witty sense of humor and compassion for students whom he has only just met.

When asked why he decided to pursue this career Glenn gave a personal anecdote from his past which he said convinced him to work with adolescents, “I used to work in a psychiatric hospital in Maryland for 5 years and had many different positions. The last position I had there was a neuropsychometrician and my job was to administer psychological testing and score the results and give them to the therapists. My testing room was in the adolescent wing of the building and in my free time I would talk to the kids there and get to know them. Several years later I went back home to visit my family and I was in a coffee shop and noticed the man behind the counter looked familiar. He asked me if I worked at Taylor Manor Hospital and I said yes I did. The young man told me that he went through that place yessing everyone and could not wait to get out and start using again. He said you came into my room on my last day and talked to me and what you said to me clicked in my head and I never used again. That is when I realized that this is what I need to do.”

Even though he has only been here for about a month now Glenn already feels like one of the family and is a great addition to The Family School.

Justin Whiting Honored in Fallen Heroes Race

 

By Mike C. & Holt B

Late in the afternoon on July 13th, the Fallen Heroes Ford F-150 2012 Ranger was to arrive at Randy Whiting’s farm, to give a special sneak peek of the car before its debut the following Monday. Justin whiting was killed in action on January 19, 2008 while doing a tour of duty in Iraq when an IED struck the vehicle he was in.  The face of Randy’s son, Justin, was to be on the front of the car for the Fallen Heroes annual race. Friends of the Whiting’s showed up to see the car for themselves, as well as show support for Randy and his son. Soon after the car arrived at the field, it was unloaded with help from local citizens Mark McGraw and Grayling Martin, after a few technical difficulties with parking, and then pulled it up behind a Hummer to Whiting’s son’s memorial flagpole, where it was observed and photographed by all who came.

The car was sponsored by and paid for by Mike Leanard of Leanard bus sales, who is a friend of Whiting. After going to the same high school, they became friends, and Leanard recommended Whiting’s fallen son as a candidate for the Fallen Heroes race, and set up a car with Empire Racing LLC for the race. The car’s driver, Sean Corr has been racing for 13 years, and will be with the car at it’s official Debut on Monday the 16th.  

FFS Grad Receives Scholarship

By Katie S.

When Brian H. came to the school in October 2010 he was seventeen years old, failing school, and heavily involved in substance abuse and acceptance seeking behavior. After stays in both inpatient and outpatient rehabs, his parents drove him from their home in Middletown, N.J. to The Family Foundation School.

“We soon discovered we had a loving, but emotionally fragile student in our midst,” said Sid Parham, Chairman of the leadership team. “Brian’s strongest attribute was his willingness to work and his weakest his concern for everyone’s approval.”

Brian’s parents, friends, teachers and Brian himself all agree that he is no longer the same boy who came to FFS two years ago. “I’m closer to God now,” Brian said. “I make better decisions, I’ve gained self-esteem, and I’ve learned to create real lasting friendships.”

Because of his personal and academic achievements, Brian was awarded a scholarship to attend college by the Beacon Tree Foundation, a nonprofit group created by parents in the Richmond Virginia area whose children have gone to therapeutic boarding schools. The foundation’s mission is to help other families with at-risk children by providing information and resources to assist in the treatment and education of these children. Each year, Beacon Tree awards a one thousand dollar a year scholarship to a graduating high school senior who has overcome personal challenges and wishes to continue their education.

For Brian and his family, a high school diploma was once only a dim hope, and a college scholarship was unimaginable. And yet, here he is with both. Brian is grateful for the foundation’s assistance, and is taking full advantage of the opportunity. Although he graduated from FFS in June, Brian will stay at the school until August, while attending Broome Community College as part of its Bridge Program.

“While I’m still at the school,” Brian said, “I’m trying to be a role model; not by being confrontational, but by being a good example. I want the other kids to be able to look at me to see what they should be doing, and what they could do if they work hard.”

Brian’s plans for the future include school, work, meetings, and spending time with his family. In the fall he will transfer to Hartwick College in Oneonta where he hopes to earn a degree in music education. About the future, Brian said, “I’m excited, but also really scared. I know I will succeed if I keep working hard and keep twelve stepping.

Paying It Forward at Prompton

By Bill D.

Visualize the following items: bags of concrete mix, various widths of pressure-treated lumber cut to different lengths, and gallon cans of paint and wood stain. Now picture the saws, hammers, brushes, shovels, nuts, bolt, screws, and mixing buckets necessary to turn those raw goods into something like a picnic table, sign post, or footbridge. Never mind the hefty dent you’ve just put in your wallet at the hardware store, just focus on the mass of construction material that now rests in the back of your truck. Most people would lament having to only unload that stuff in their backyard, but you simply don’t have to unload it, you also have to haul it all a few miles into the woods, up hills and over rocky trails. This isn’t a job. Heck, you’re not even a professional contractor. You spend your week in an office, driving a truck, manning a counter, or writing term papers but now you’re a volunteer doing trail maintenance and park construction in your free time.

Hike along any trail, not just in Pennsylvania but practically anywhere in the country, and chances are you are benefitting from the labor of volunteers. Sure, some parks and forests have rangers and trail crews that do similar work and there are programs such as Americorps or state-run agencies where people get paid to construct and upkeep the trails, but by-and-large when you lace up your boots and hit the trail you owe a debt of gratitude to volunteers. Thus is the case at Prompton State Park. Last month I had the opportunity to tag along with a group of folks dedicated to improving the park. Not only did I get to see their handiwork but also gained some insight into why they love what they do.

I arrived at Prompton equipped with some tools and a day pack. Myself being a veteran of trail work, I expected I’d be cutting or digging something. Instead, I spent an hour speaking with Mike Losicco from The Family Foundation School in Hancock, N.Y. He and Eric Anderson brought seven of the kids from the school to the park that day to finish up some painting projects they had started earlier. While he and I chatted, Eric and Paul Mang from the Friends of Prompton State Park supervised the kids. Mike gave me some insight into the students and a bit of history about the school and the program. He didn’t make any bones about it; the kids at the school are at-risk youth. Some have had run-ins with the law, had discipline problems at home, or were underachievers in their schools. Like many programs, The Family Foundation School is based on principles and ideals set forth in Alcoholics Anonymous. While not all of the students have substance abuse issues, Mike explained that these Steps can be applied to all sorts of destructive behavior and the kids at The Family Foundation School run a gamut of challenges ranging from gambling, to violence, to eating disorders.

Step Eight in most programs involves making amends. Mike explained to me that he had met Paul through the Northeast Wilderness Experience where Paul had led several trips for the school. Mike noticed that help was needed at the park and figured that since the school was benefitting from the park, some sort of payback was in order. Turning “making amends” into “paying it forward,” Mike called for volunteers one day at the school and the response was nearly immediate and overwhelming. That was over a year ago. Since then, Mike and Eric have brought dozens of kids to the park to do service. By the time Mike and I finished our talk, the kids had blown through their work. It was a light day for them. The heavy work had been done a few weeks before and soon we were off hiking to check up on the old work and find a nice place to eat lunch.

Hiking along I got to speak to the students. I had a hard time pegging them as troubled youth. I’ve worked with at-risk teens and young adults with substance abuse issues before. They weren’t the pseudo-tough street kids that break down in the woods nor were they reminiscing about their drunken or drug induced escapades as I had seen people in other groups do. These kids come from Brooklyn, the New Jersey suburbs, and the Deep South. There’s no stereotype either. They’re all young men, some were wearing tank tops and basketball shorts and some were wearing jeans and camo baseball hats. They spoke of sports, their classes, and what they want to study in college or do for a living. When I asked why they come out to help, they all said it was mostly because they enjoyed being outdoors.

As we approached a large trail sign they spoke proudly about the work they did to erect it. It wasn’t arrogant boasting either. They recounted hauling in the heavy timbers and what it took to dig the postholes in the rocky ground. High school football players might speak of a 60-yard push to score a winning fourth quarter touchdown in the same manner. Similarly, as getting to play sports is a privilege in most schools, being allowed to work on the trail crew is something these kids have to earn. The kids who come out to help have been at the school for several months and need to meet academic standards and show that they are progressing through the program. Unlike their counterparts on the gridiron, there are no fans in the stands or cheerleaders on the sidelines. When the job is done, they go back to campus and I doubt few people even think about the trail when they visit the park, let alone what it took to put up a sign or fix a bridge.

We stopped for lunch above the small waterfall along the trail. Here the crew had cut out part of the bank in order to make a level spot for the picnic table they hauled in piece-by-piece a few weeks earlier. I didn’t really have to ask them about the table. I too have been able to hike a trail I helped cut and have slept in a campsite I helped build. I knew what they were feeling. They love the park too. After lunch they explored the creek with Paul and Eric keeping a watchful eye on them for safety. Discipline wasn’t an issue. Paul doesn’t stand for it and the kids know it and respect him for it. They are thankful to help him and the friends’ group. I’m not sure how many teens would be “thankful” to tote tools and timber into the forest, spend the day getting dirty and tired, and then come back for more. These kids are, and you should be thankful for them and their work.

So the next time you are hiking at Prompton State Park, or any public trail, take a minute to think about the people who keep the trails open. Ponder, even if just for a moment, the trail sign, shelter, or campsite five miles from nowhere and what it took to put it there. Utter a word of thanks and then, hike on.
If you want to help the Friends of Prompton State Park, visit www.friendsofprompton.com or call 570-253-5744.

Princeton House “Thank You” Letters

Mr. Michael L,

Thanks for talking to me in the lobby, and having faith in me doing this for myself. Keep helping all of these kids. We all need it.

Dear George,

I learned a lot from you and everyone else who came with you. I appreciate you talking to me and my boy after the group. You guys said a lot of meaningful things and I’m going to take in a lot of what you guys said. Thanks a lot.

Dear Students,

Your stories have shown me that there is hope for getting clean. Some of the stories meant a lot to me and I could connect to them. When I get out I’m going to try practicing some of the skills that you guys mentioned.

Dear Family School,

Thank you for coming and talking. Your stories and feedback gave me hope and strength, and I really needed it. I now know that it just takes time and sobriety to feel better and get my life back together, and I’ve been talking to God. Most of the people here aren’t taking it serious so for you guys to come and talk it made me feel so much better. So thank you so much and good luck getting on with your lives when you get out.

Dear Speakers,

Thank you for coming and sharing your stories. You are all very inspirational, strong, amazing people. I wish you all the best.

 

Witness

By RJ O.

Cold, selfish and unhappy is how I spent my Christmas in years past. My mood and emotions reflected Mother Nature on a cold winter night. I always looked forward to Christmas morning when I would receive many gifts, but I was always ungrateful and all I wanted to do was exchange the gifts I had been given for something “better”. Everyone around me was all smiles and on this beautiful day while I indulged in my own churlish attitude. A part of me knew that I should be thinking about others and focusing on giving rather than receiving, but that part of me was like a mouse trapped in a giant Tupperware bowl scrapping at the transparent wall trying to get out. It took me a full year during my stay to finally allow this seemingly hopeless mouse to see the light of day again.
I arrived at The Family Foundation School on December 14, 2010 I wasn’t looking forward to spending another Christmas away from home. My previous Christmas before was spent in the woods of Vermont in, The True North Wilderness Program provided a Christmas that I would never forget. On Christmas morning I was handed a wooden spoon and five Tootsie Rolls. You would think I would be grateful after graduating from the wilderness program, but after going home and surrounding myself with the same people, places and things, I shut out the new person I had become during my wilderness experience. I put myself in a position where I was going to miss my second Christmas with my family and I was not thrilled to say the least.
I adjusted well to the school, but I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around during the holidays. Materialistically I was content, but there was something missing. I felt like the Grinch with a shriveled up heart because all I cared about was me and nobody else. I did in fact gain some relationships with kids because I was living with them; the same superficial relationships I shared with friends back home.
Early November 2011 I found out I was going to miss another Christmas at home. My first reaction was to be frustrated and complain about something I couldn’t change. But after thinking about the true meaning of Christmas and saying a prayer I had a change of heart. With a selfless attitude my 2011 Christmas at The Family School was one to remember.
Love spread through Talbot House faster than a blink of an eye. This warm compassion felt like burrowing up in your blanket on a frigid night. Everyone was happy and nothing else mattered besides seeing the expression on the face of the person who was opening up the present you got them. When I went home on December 27 and this selfless, open-hearted attitude traveled with me from the school to my family. These new emotions felt weird at first because I had never showed them in my home or in front of my family. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t excited to open up presents at my house, but my mind wasn’t consumed by these material things. I was content with being home and being surrounded by people that I love and by people that love me, so opening presents was the icing on the cake of a memorable day.